You know when people plug a million hours of something into a computer and then ask it to write its own version? That’s me with Kitchen Nightmares. I’ve gotten obsessed with finding out what happens to the restaurants after Ramsay & co leave. I have never felt more “American” than when I started wondering why these folks even deserved a chance to save the business in the first place. because commerce and independence and something something… I didn’t go to business school. I’m also a millennial. We’re notorious for shutting down industries that aren’t serving the end user (I’m only 50% sarcastic).
If there’s one message I take away from every episode of Kitchen Nightmares — which has way fewer back-office-Ramsay-strip-shows than its British counterpart — it’s that most of these businesses failed because they didn’t have BUSINESS people at the helm. Most of the restaurants failed again after Chef Ramsay left and they blamed him for it which is so fucking funny to me. Why do you think he came to your establishment in the first place?
I did a little research, and discovered recruiters go to the restaurants (or did go, since it’s not on anymore) and ask about service and reputation and food quality etc. Then they offer the owners the chance to have the show come in and do the makeover. So let’s go over this:
1. They had to fail enough to get the recruiters’ attention, right?
2. They had to agree to meet with whoever did that recruiting or whoever.
3. They needed to agree, and then take part in, the show itself.
There’s a lot of unanswered questions about how much is scripted and the obvious effect of people willing to say bad shit about the food because they’re getting a free meal and a shot at being on TV. Somewhere around season two, the show nods regularly at the celebrity effect Ramsay’s very presence has on foot traffic, but the narrative still relies on misdirection and inflamed dramatics in almost every episode. If “you won’t believe what happens next”, then you’re either very thick or you’re ignoring the obvious pattern that develops VERY early on. I’m aware that I’m ten years late with my Kitchen Nightmare hot takes. That’s fine. I have a lot of food show hot takes that I’ve never written down because I’m a hypocrite. Regardless of how much I recognize these shows are a waste of food in a country that over-produces and under-delivers, on a planet facing a whole slew of issues that could be at least stalled by more responsible consumption, I still keep tuning in for Worst Cooks in America. I waited about two seconds before diving into the third season of Nailed It. I’m a monster.
And Kitchen Nightmares is Worst Cooks in America, but if you gave those people a ton of hubris and some money and told them to run wild.
